The Lessons We Should Learn from Daystar
In recent days, news has begun to trickle in the Christian community about a budding scandal at Daystar Television Network. For the most part, this news has stayed fairly buried, only showing up on fringe X accounts and lesser-known journalists' websites. I have my suspicions about why that is, but I'll get into that in a bit. In a nutshell, the story that is emerging is a tale as old as time. Jonathan Lamb, son of the late Marcus Lamb, and his wife Suzy have come forward with claims of sexual abuse against not only Suzy, but their young daughter
We Have No Other Choice Now
It's time to fix what we've done to the Church. If we don't, God will, and I don't think anyone is prepared for that. Author's Note: To this point, in every article I've written, I have been careful NOT to mention names, dates, or locations of any of the churches I have been part of. My purpose has been to share systemic issues I've witnessed, not bring down any one entity or person. You will see a clear departure from that rule in this article. I will mention names, dates, and locations. The reason for the departure from my
Protecting Abusers in the Name of Protecting the Brand
What happens when church leadership not only protects abusers but sets up a system to enable them? We Forgot How to "People" A friend of mine once lamented to me that her main grievance with the Church today is that we just don't know how to "people." For an institution that was created firstly to worship God and secondly, to make disciples, we have certainly forgotten that people are the key factor to both of those things. People are the heart and soul of a church because a church would not be necessary were it not for the existence of
You’re Buying Into the Prosperity Gospel
I bet you believe some form of the Prosperity Gospel and don't even know it. It's a four-letter word in the Church today: Prosperity Gospel charlatans and their ilk have come to be known as the snake oil salesman of evangelicalism and the New Apostolic Reformation. They show up on Sundays in their $5,000 hoodies and $1,200 sneakers. They fly in on their private jets. They televise their services to millions each week. They tout their wealth and promise that you too can have it if you just have as much faith as they do. And millions fall for it.
The Not Exhaustive But Ridiculously Too Long List of Grievances
It seems like the Church today is prone to spiritual abuse. Whether Catholic or Protestant, mega or mini-sized, the Church is rampant with bad leaders acting selfishly, manipulating and lying for purposes that defy logic. Why? What is the pattern that facilitates this behavior? And how can we get better? Be better? Do better? This is the conversation I think we must have. Now. I've been a part of all kinds of churches, of all kinds of denominations and theological backgrounds, of all sizes. I've attended the little ol' country church on the county line and the mega-church with a
Is Marketing Jesus Killing the Church?
My last article, which several thousand of you read (thank you so much), apparently struck a chord. It's becoming undeniably clear that something is fundamentally broken about the modern Church movement in the West. Too many are leaving disenchanted, confused, hurt, broken, and even questioning their faith. If it were only me, I would have shrugged it off as some sort of personal deficiency or misunderstanding. But I have heard from hundreds of you over the last few days, reaching out (mostly anonymously) to tell me you've experienced the same things I did -- namely abuse and a woeful lack
Deconstructing My Deconstruction
I began writing this article in February 2023. Scratch that. I began wrestling with the content of this post in January 2020, but I hadn't been able to articulate it until now. Even so, you can see that it's January 2024 and I'm just now posting it. There are reasons for that, too, which I will get into later. I haven't really shared my story. I've held a lot back and there are lot of reasons for that. But it's time. 2023 brought for me and my family some huge changes -- from walking away from our church denomination of
The Live Oak and the Bradford Pear
For years now I've been wrestling with the Church. In the early months of that struggle, I thought I was struggling with my faith, but over time I've come to realize that my struggle has never been with whether God exists, whether I believe that, or whether that should affect me. (He does, I do, and it does, to be clear.) My struggle has been with the Church. And I've struggled with it for a long time. I've kicked around this proverbial can for years, vacillating between various versions of my own coping mechanisms, trying to avoid the pain I've
Why Book 6 is the Most Difficult Book I’ve Ever Written
I think some of you are going to be a bit taken aback by this next book. There are reasons for that, namely that the content is a lot darker, the subject matter is a lot heavier, and the imagery is a bit bleaker. No, I'm not going through an existential crisis that I projected onto these pages. The truth is, I pushed myself to write something more honest than I've ever written. I took off some of the dampers I had self-inflicted and allowed myself to explore some of the darkest themes I have personally faced. Abuse. Neglect. Fear.
In Egregious Lapse in Judgment, Christian Author Includes Sex in Her Novels
Dear Mom, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. Sex has never been a comfortable topic for me. Partly because of my upbringing, and partly because of my faith, sex has been, for the majority of my life, somewhat of a taboo. Even after marriage, there were aspects of my sexuality that I could not bring myself to terms with (because God forbid a woman should not only enjoy it but... you know... want it). But here I am, writing this, knowing that people I know will read it. Knowing my MOM will read it (good lord in heaven). Maybe even
When Did We Start Demanding Miracles?
It is not great faith to demand something of God. Let me repeat that. It is not great faith to demand God to do anything. But that's what's happening today. And the #WakeUpOlive movement is only a symptom of a much bigger, and much more terrifying problem in the modern Church. A Worldwide Movement A few days ago, my Instagram feed started to fill with post after post from prominent Christian leaders. All of them cried out in great faith, and all of them were asking one thing: for God to resurrect a little girl from the dead. Immediately, my
Women Are Not Stronger Than Men
I see this a lot in my reader groups: people (particularly girls) asking for recommendations of novels with strong female leads. And then inevitably, fifty people comment with various novels they love and recommend. And almost exclusively, the novels feature ass-kicking women with hyper-masculine tendencies and abilities that somehow mark them as “strong.” And inevitably, I roll my eyes. Now let me just say that I will be the first to admit that I’m a Sarah J. Maas fan, and she is the queen of writing ass-kicking female leads. And I am fully aware of the hypocrisy of my own
Shallow Art Does Not Good Theology Make
Shallow art does not equal good theology. Let me say that again. Shallow art does not equal good theology. If art isn't authentic to the human experience, it's not art. There. I said it. *breathes* This topic can be...touchy, to say the least. For Christians, anyway. I think we're scared... I've avoided it, to be honest. I thought to myself, "If someone brings it up, then talk about it. But don't open that Pandora's Box. It's not worth it." People have brought it up in my inner circle. But I can tell that they, like me, weren't sure what to
What’s up with the man hate?
Last week, Twitter blew up with the hashtag #MisandryInPublishing. Apparently some poor, hapless (male) soul posted that he believed it to be a real problem and women. went. nuts. Oh man, the hate on Twitter. It’s mind-blowing how nasty people can be sometimes. But I digress... The poor soul was obliterated by one cat-scratch after another—women on the man hate rant about how the entire concept of misandry in publishing is laughable at best. I read through the banter. I wondered as to the fate of humanity for a moment. And then I stated my peace and moved on. Yes,
Shattered
I am a perfectionist. There. I said it. I like to wrap things up in a pretty box, tie a bow on them, and call them accomplished. I like to explain things. I like to categorize my life into snippets of theology. "Oh this? I learned ____________ from this. And that over there? That was the time I learned _____________." I think being able to define the incidents in my life has given me a sense of purpose. It has certainly given me a sense of sanity. So when I was faced with something I couldn't define, I was lost.
The Duggar Formula (and the Pitfalls of the Pedestal)
Today, my heart is truly broken. Today, I mourn. Today, I feel betrayed. Flummoxed. Bamboozled. Duped. I didn't see this coming. Not for a thousand miles. Today the world found out that Josh Duggar is not quite the repented soul he had purported himself to be. I am going to step up to the plate here and admit that I was one of the first to jump on the defensive for the Duggar family, Josh being no exception. I believed him when he said he had made mistakes as a kid and had repented. I believed it because I believe
I Can Love Jesus Without Going to Church
I hear this a lot these days: "I can love Jesus without going to church." I suppose you can. But you won't get very far. If you're one of those people, don't tune out. There's something you need to hear. When I was in college, I saw a tshirt that said, "Jesus is not a religion." I loved it. I thought it was so perfect. That's right, Jesus not a religion! What a revolutionary thought!! It was that mindset that set me down the path to the version of Christian "spirituality" I sported for many years. I loved to say
When Following Him Gets Exhausting
It has been a busy season of life, to say the least. Between kiddos, husband, family, work, worship, church groups, songwriting, and trying to do all of that while keeping the house from looking like a disaster area, I am little tired. Okay, really tired. I used to never take naps because I knew that if I napped, I wouldn't sleep that night. The other day, I took two long naps and STILL slept like a baby that night. Now THAT is what I call a sabbath. It was bliss. But it showed me just how tired I really am.
#ChristianProblems
Is it just me or does your inner self ever ask questions like this? "But I thought as a Christian, I wouldn't have any problems...?" "Why am I still struggling? Shouldn't faith eliminate the struggle?" "I thought Jesus would get rid of my problems. Is there something wrong with me?" Maybe you don't literally ask yourself those questions. But maybe it silently nags at you from time to time. Maybe you, like me, find yourself beating yourself up when things aren't as easy as you felt they should have been. Maybe you are your own worst enemy. I know I
Jesus Keeps Disappointing Me
I have a question today. It's simple, really. But I've been pondering it a lot lately. Do you love Jesus? Do I love Jesus? To clarify, in the context of this post, this is not a question for non-believers. Certainly if you don't believe in your need for Jesus, if you're not a believer, I am praying that your eyes will be opened. Certainly if you don't have Jesus, you need Him. But that's for another post. Today's question is for believers - do we love Jesus? I'm not asking this question as some sort of ploy to get us
A Bold Humility
Bold humility. Humble boldness. No matter how you word it, those two words don't go together. They are counter-intuitive. One should cancel out the other. To the world, that is. But I've learned something pretty profound about God as I've walked with Him - He's all about surprising us with opposite, counter-intuitive, seemingly impossible thinking. When we say, "Stay. It's not going to work," He says, "Go. I've got this." When we think it's crazy, He says it's His plan. When the world says, "Your life has to look a certain way," God says, "Let me show you what real
A Song For a Friend
Above: Stacy (left) with her beautiful daughter (right) with my husband on our wedding day It was five years ago today. We lost a friend that was one of the most selfless, kind, truly honest persons I've ever met. Her name was Stacy. She was a wife, a mother, a friend, a lover of Jesus. And to me, she was a rock. I miss her every time I have a funny story to tell. I think of her every time I pass by the places we frequented together. I miss her every time something happens in my life
Unexpected Turns and Crazy Ideas
When we tell you these things, we do not use words that come from human wisdom. Instead, we speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit’s words to explain spiritual truths. But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means. Those who are spiritual can evaluate all things, but they themselves cannot be evaluated by others. For, “Who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to teach him?” But we
Like a Good Little Christian
I used to be a good little Christian. I knew all the Christian-ese. I had a few key scriptures memorized. I did all the things good Christians do - I read my Bible pretty regularly, I went to church every Sunday, I listened to worship music in my spare time, I memorized popular Bible verses. I was really good at acting like a good Christian. And I counted it all as merits in my honor. I was doing a God a favor, I guess. I used to think that there were levels of Christianity. Growing up in church, I was
Sissy Men, Super Women, and the Troubles of the Modern Home
One of the many random courses that I was required to study in my otherwise useless degree was Inter-Personal Communications. Although it had little to do with the direction I had planned to take my Communications Degree of Radio / TV / Film, this class was one of my favorites. It was taught by an atheist professor that didn't like me and my "preachiness" (as he put it) very much. But, oddly, I really liked him. He fascinated me. He looked almost exactly like Christopher Walken, but somehow, with an even surlier demeanor. He was dry and slightly bitter. But